A tongue-in-cheek guide to branding terms

A tongue-in-cheek guide to branding terms

"Brand" is a word that gets bandied about ("brandied about") quite a bit in our industry. The creative folks at Canadian branding firm Compass360 must have had a quiet day… they've come up with this list of hilarious, made-up branding terms.

Brandiose - A glaringly obvious overestimation of a brand's importance (also referred to as Delusions of Brandeur).

  • Brandwidth - The maximum amount of potential the brand can reach (mathematically equivalent to the number of Facebook "Likes" a brand's page may garner).
  • Brandpa - A grand old brand.
  • "Jumping on The Brandwagon" - Following a trend pioneered first by another brand in a a manner that provokes blog commenters to cry "rip off!".
  • The 10 Combrandments - Thou shalt make the logo bigger. Repeat 9 times.
  • Brandwhich - Many brands crammed together garishly in a miniscule space.
  • Brandsome - A truly magnificent speciment of a brand, with unparalleled attention to the four C's pf branding: Concept, Counterform, Contrast and Kerning.
  • Brandicapped - A brand that has the courage to soldier on for decades despite ite crippling issues. Think MySpace, America OnLine
  • "Brand Spanking New" - Innovative fetish brands.
  • Amperbrand - Any brand that conjoins with one or more additional brands without any effort to clarify or minimalise its name (e.g. PriceWaterhouseCoopersDraperPrice)
  • Brandellabra - An archaic brand with a multi-pronged strategic approach and tendancy to fizzle out over time.
  • The Promised Brand - Heaven for creatives; the place where all free thinkers aspeire to be, and spend their entire careers attempting to reach. Also commonly  referred to someone else's blog.
  • B-Rand - Second-rate or derivitive branding that looks uncomfortably similar to the work of Paul Rand.
  • Brandgelina - The merger of two brands of incredibly strong genes (ie: Disney Pixar)
  • Brandito - A brand that waits for another brand to pave the way, only to steal its thunder by doing the exact same thing.
  • Brandstanding - The holding of wholly inappropriate or unrelated promotional events such as extreme cheese cycling (BrieMX) or a rock concert for an energy drink (GatorAid).
  • Brandom - A brand that appears out of nowhere, makes no sense, and becomes quickly irrelevant (New Coke, Sarah Palin).
  • Contrabrand - A brand so malformed and ill-conceived it should be illegal.
  • Brandelions - Garnish brands that appear where they are neither welcome nor relevant.
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